Just finished off this year; done for the year; beginning of the summer break and an ending to another year, I shall see where it takes me. Although I don’t expect much because it’s like every other year that I’ve been in for the past 21 years. Like what Kylie Jenner said about “realising stuff”, I’ve been realising “things”.
For one, that I shouldn’t be afraid of moving forward. That I can actually do this shit! I see a glimmer of hope. Regardless, I want to be damn optimistic about my future. I need to – ffs I’m 21. I’m a lot mature than when I was at 17. But I still have a lot of soul searching and growing up to do – there are few, if not many, aspects of my life that I need to improve; think I’ll be searching for it until death.
1/ To be honest with myself. I need to be honest about what I’m doing, why I’m doing it. I don’t want to have superficial, gain for gain relations.
2/ Build confidence, in myself and in my work. To be sure and sound sure of my intentions and in my work.
3/ Not allowing negativity to get to me. Not letting it effect my relationships with others and especially with my work. I need that noggin to work in my favour.
I have half-heartedly accepted the fact that anxiety and depression won’t just disappear from my life. Sometimes, during the most inconvenience, it will creep up on me and hit me so fucking hard. I hope to slowly find ways to deal with it and to be able to experience the full joys.
There’s a realisation that I need to move away from the past. I don’t need to hold on to past relations – I can just not ever see them again or put myself into that situation ever again. I never learn. I only wished for a miracle. But sometimes I shouldn’t be too foolish. I can still be hopeful and good but also wary with a pair of scissors x.
Knowing how to differentiate and to learn from.
Anyone with a tag that says “negativity thrown at beginning”, should be on the minimal contact list. I want ZERO to do with them. Why? Because they judged too quickly, mess with your mind and it’s too late for redemption. Fuck, I wanna live that way because it’s too damn cruel.
Who does that kind of shit?
Yet, I know many just want to see what they want to see – and to be told the things that they want to hear.
Then you meet the golden egg. There’s always a golden egg that you find somewhere along your journey. They’re so pure and so kind. Hope they never change their pure hearts. We need more people like them ❤ I can tell that they’re very happy with what they have in their life 🙂
When you know, you know. Always follow your instinct. Continue to grow – no matter the pace. Always be real. Don’t reach for the stars, reach for a starting point and get going!!